Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour.
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying,
"ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?"
"MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"
Matthew 27: 45-46
- Cast Off
If there's just one thing I'm really grateful for, in this moment, at the foot of the Cross, it's this: Jesus knows how forsaken really feels.
He understands abandoned.
He gets what it means to be rejected, disowned, excluded, unwanted.
He knows exactly how that feels.
Because forsaken-abandoned-rejected-deserted-ditched-dumped-scrapped is a real thing.
It's not in our heads.
It really does happen.
It really does hurt.
EVEN WHEN IT'S FOR THE BEST CAUSE EVER.
Abandoned is not a feeling to deny when something more important is going on.
Abandoned is not a feeling to repress because other people are more important than I will ever be.
Abandoned is not a feeling to minimize because my abandonment can never measure up to the "real" abandonment that Jesus suffered on the Cross
Abandoned is a feeling to cry out to the One who, like a nursing mother, cannot forget me, her child. (Isaiah 49:15)
Abandoned is a feeling to bring to the One who has my name written in the palms of his hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
Abandoned is a feeling to entrust to Jesus.
Because He knows exactly--exactly--how it feels.
And Someone who knows exactly how it feels, and loves me with an everlasting Love (Jeremiah 31:3), will never ask me to deny, repress, or minimize the feelings.
Someone who knows exactly how it feels, Someone who's been through Hell and back for me, that Someone says, "It's okay to tell me. I know. Speak it out."
That One who knows exactly how it feels, and who loves me with an everlasting Love, invites me to come, like the little child I still am, broken and tired and hurting and forsaken.
Because healing does not exist in denial, repression, or minimizing.
Healing is found in the Truth.
Healing is enfolded in Love.
Healing is embodied in the arms that promise never, ever to leave me or forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5)
Healing comes in the presence of Jesus, who knows exactly how forsaken feels.