That's what my brain woke me up with at 5 a.m. Sunday.
I had a big weird zit on my face that wouldn't go away, and apparently my anxiety brain decided to consider all the medical possibilities during the night and came up with smallpox.
So, yeah. Anxiety brain is a bit of a thing right now.
The trip to Nicaragua is coming up Thursday.
My normal work environment is (1) me at the computer alone or (2) me in the counseling room with one or two other people. 91 women are signed up for this retreat thing. That's like 89 more people in the room with me than usual.
I'm excited about it all, but this is not my normal, so if you'd pray for me this week, I'd appreciate it!
If there's anything more I need to hear, anything different I need to say, then I'm trusting that I'll hear it and I'll have the courage to say it.
Meanwhile, I'll be breathing and looking at my roses as much as possible, because they are amazing right now.
Luke Gilkerson, who's in charge of the blog and a bunch of other stuff at Covenant Eyes, asked me to come on their podcast recently and answer some FAQ's from women dealing with their husband's porn use. We talked about self-esteem, relapses, having tough conversations, codependency, you name it.
It was supposed to be a 20 minute conversation but it went on a bit longer than anticipated, and turned into three podcasts instead of just one. Here are all the links. Let me know if you listen to all of them and I'll get you a gold star.
The podcast was in conjunction with CE's re-release of their free download, Porn and Your Husband. This is an e-book for women who've discovered their husband's porn use and just don't know what to do next. It's kind of a first aid kit for desperate women, and like so much good stuff at CE, it's totally free, so download away!
One more fabulous free thing you absolutely must know about is Josh Garrel's brand new album, Home.
If you've been around here long, you probably know that Josh's song Farther Along pretty much kept me on my feet through 2014. I'm so grateful for music that expresses the sorrow and the hope, all at once, because that's life.
This year, I think it might be a Morning Light kind of season.
"It's gonna be alright,
turn around and let back in the light,
And joy will come
like a bird in the morning sun,
And all will be made well
Andy wants me to tell you that He Was Right about the lyrics of this song. We were listening to it on the road, in the early morning light of Saturday, on our way to the Promised Land (aka Texas A&M) for parent weekend. Andy said to me, "Is he really saying 'like a birdie in the morning sun?' Surely not?" And I said, "I think he's saying 'light burning in the morning sun?'" which we agreed was a more sophisticated turn of phrase, and then I came home and looked it up, and bandcamp says "like a bird in the morning sun." We listened to Josh AGAIN, and clearly he says birdie. Which is delightful. We have hand motions now and everything.
The fact that Andy Was Right about song lyrics is significant because he is famously bad at song lyrics except for Cat Stevens. He can sing every word of Cat Stevens. And now Josh Garrels, apparently.
Hop on over to Noisetrade and download Home for free, because Josh Garrels is the man and gives his stuff away all the time. Leave him a tip if you can.
So that's it for this week, y'all: pray for me and my anxiety brain, and download free stuff.
I'll take lots of pictures on my trip and update you when I'm home again!