one month

It's one month today.

Oddly enough, I feel okay today.

A couple of days ago, it was agonizing.

Yesterday was hard.

Today is okay.

I'm learning to be grateful for the okay times.

It's weird to feel okay in the middle of this, but I'm recognizing that when I feel okay, that's the time to rest.

The agony and the hard will come back.

It's good to rest and be grateful for that rest when I feel okay.

[Edited to add: at the end of a day of feeling okay, I curled up into a fetal ball and wailed the kind of gut-wrenching sobs I had never experienced before this month.]

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This morning, Andy and I went out for an early-morning pajama-walk with Michelle.

Her joy, her wonder, her delight in the world is a great light to us now.

She reminds us that life will be more than okay.

It will be full of beauty and joy.

In fact, it already is.

Always.

We believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.

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We played this song at Libby's memorial:

"It's gonna be alright,

turn around and let back in the light,

And joy will come like a birdy in the morning sun

and all will be made well,

once again."

This is our hope: Love and light, with us, always.

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