It just gets really, really heavy pretty quickly.
The truth sets in: this will never be fixed, it won't get better, there is no cure.
This is reality.
It is final, and it is forever.
We won't get over this.
We will learn to live through it, and into it, to experience it as it is, to bear it, and to walk each other home through this suffering.
Together is best, that much is clear.
The burden is lighter when we are together with it.
I'm thankful today for family and friends who are willing to walk with us.
I'm especially grateful to have Kevin and Michelle's presence with us daily. I don't know, honestly, what I would do without them here.
Kevin is the son of our hearts and Michelle is a light and a joy.
Gifts that Libby left with us to help us bear the pain.
For the next couple of weeks, Andy and I will be on a long-planned trip to Slovenia and Croatia, while Kevin and Michelle are supported by family and friends here.
As you know, Andy and I love to travel, but this time I'm not quite sure what to expect.
Usually our trips are a time for me to completely disconnect from responsibility and just receive.
I know that beauty and peace and rest for our souls do continue to exist in this world, alongside the sorrow and suffering.
I'm hoping that this trip is a little taste of that for us.
An act of hope, that our new normal won't be entirely dark and heavy.