What happens when being radical for God brings you to the edge of disaster?

When Kay Bruner and her husband, Andy, took their young family to live on an island in the South Pacific, she found the purposeful, adventurous life she’d hoped for—along with isolated living, dangerous sea travel, tropical illnesses, and a floundering marriage.  As they worked on a Bible translation project with a local language group, Kay sank into burnout and depression while Andy medicated his stress with a pornography addiction. 

Bringing life back from the brink required a radical reinvention of life, from a ministry and marriage built on high performance and spiritual heroism, to a nourishing daily walk of grace, freedom, and intimate connection.

This is a story about going to extremes for spiritual acceptability and failing dismally, only to find that love and grace transcend failure.  For anyone who’s ever asked, “When will I be good enough for love?”  This book resoundingly answers:  “Right now.  You are loved, right this minute, in this mess.”  While few of us will live on a tiny island in the South Pacific, many of us will find hope and healing in this story of a painful fall into the arms of love.


Also available on Amazon Australia, Amazon UK and all other Amazon sites. 

Free study guide for As Soon As I Fell is available free for download. Great for groups or individual reflection.

Click here to download.

What readers have to say about As Soon As I Fell

An amazingly honest book that offers insight into how easy it is to mix up God with a religious system - and hope for separating the two into clearer understandings of both.
— Ruth Van Reken - Author of "Letters Never Sent"
Who should read As Soon As I Fell? Everyone! If I had it in my power to make it required reading for every couple in my agency, I would. Anyone contemplating overseas service needs to read this. Everyone involved in the care of people serving in other cultures needs to read it.
— Bob Hay - Recruitment Coordinator and Life Coach at SIM USA
For dreamers and idealists and those who plan (or used to plan) on changing the world, for struggling marriages and lonely expatriates and those battling depression, for people curious about the nitty-gritty, not always pretty realities of life in an island village, and for anyone hungry for an honest story of healing and hope, As Soon As I Fell is a book to love.
— Rachel Pieh Jones - djiboutijones.com
As Soon As I Fell wasn’t what I expected - it was better. I laughed and cried all the way through it, and at the end, I understood on a deeper level God’s love and grace for me. Get it. Read it. You need to hear what’s inside.
— Hallie M. - Amazon Review

"Forgive-and-forget" slaps a band-aid over a gaping wound and tells us to keep on limping.
Real forgiveness, on the other hand, invites us to remove the bandages, examine the wound, and open ourselves up to a restorative process.
What gives us the courage to undertake such a difficult, potentially painful procedure?

We find the bravery to practice true, soul-deep forgiveness in the context of a Love that holds us safe, no matter what. 
In the process of real forgiveness, we'll learn what wise trust looks like. We'll be able to choose reconciliation or release in relationships. Most of all, we'll turn toward healing.
Real forgiveness can be messy and hard. But in the end, it brings the kind of rest to our souls that no easy answer can offer. For that reason, we debunk the myths and dig in.




This short ebook (no paper copy, just Kindle format) is designed to empower young women to make healthy choices in their dating relationships.  Not tell them what to do.  Just give them information, ideas, resources, and the confidence to decide for themselves how they'd like to deal with this.

If you're a single woman out in the dating world, I wrote this for you because it breaks my heart when girls like you are crying in my office over this issue.  

If you're the parent of daughters, I wrote this for you, so you'll have a resource to share with your daughter.

If you're the parent of sons, I wrote this for you, so you'll have a resource for your son's girlfriend.  The conversation starters might even help you talk to your sons about this topic.

"When I acknowledge the darkness of the world, and the pain in my own heart, I need the coming of Jesus to mean more than nice presents and a big dinner."

Daily meditations on the text of Handel's Messiah remind us that comfort, hope, and light are ours, even while living through the real world of grief, pain, and loss. 26 readings for Advent or any time of year.