Welcome to
Some Thoughts on Grief
Grief is a deeply personal, highly individualized experience. When we lose someone we love, we are the only person in the world who’s had our particular relationship with our lost loved one. Nobody else had our experiences, our moments, our connections. Those are ours alone. And that makes every grief, no matter how well supported, unique to ourselves.
At the same time, there are similarities in our grief: how our brains work, how our bodies feel, what our brains tell us, what emotions come to us. Having the ability to connect around those similarities helps us to feel less alone, less crazy, less lost in the strange new reality we’ve fallen into.
My hope is that, as I share some of my personal experiences, along with some of the best resources I’ve come across, that you will feel connected and cared for, even if we never meet in real life.
A few things to know before we begin:
I’m going to have journaling questions included in each episode.
Please share as much or as little of your writing and insights as you would like, in the comments. Please feel free to respond to the comments of others, especially when someone else’s work is helpful to you.
Please feel free to use a pseudonym or simply “anonymous” in the comments if that helps you to feel more comfortable.
Feel free to choose one of the questions that appeals to you, or none of them and just go with what comes to you.
Some tips on the daily writing prompts:
Totally optional! But if you want to use the prompts, here’s what I’ve found works well.
The goal is to be writing for about 20 minutes, which is a research-based length of time.
You’re not trying to produce a publishable manuscript; you’re just allowing yourself to be heard. JUST WRITE, stream-of-consciousness style.
I personally write longhand, in a nice journal, with my favorite Pilot G-2 pens when I’m doing work like this. Others may find that typing into a google doc or a blog site is a better fit.
As you begin writing each day, it may be helpful to write the prompt out two or three times. If you get stuck during the 20 minutes, writing out the prompt again is often helpful.
It’s also helpful, when you are stuck, to attend to your body and your emotions. Notice how your body feels. Write about that. Name any emotions that are coming up for you, and write about those.
Not only will attending to your body and naming emotions help you get unstuck while writing, it’s also a very important practice in attending to yourself and growing into self-compassionate responses. We all need all the self compassion we can get during grief.
While you can begin your practice any time, here’s a pre-practice prompt to journal over:
What do I wish everyone knew about my grief right now?
What is so private about my grief that I don’t want anyone to know?
