why do I write?

I ask myself this question sometimes, during all the hours I spend at this computer desk. Why do I write?  What is this about?

And there are a bunch of reasons, I think.

I write because I can.  It's just a thing I can do.  It's not always easy or fun, but at the end of the day, I write because I can.  I can't do math, and please don't ask me to fix anything with moving parts.  But I can write.

I write because it helps me process.  My head is like the inside of a refrigerator.  There may be all kinds of stuff in there, but until you open the door and the light comes on, you have no idea what you've got.  And for me, writing turns the light on, helps me figure out what I've got.

I write because writing helps me make meaning out of the mess.  God redeems.  And writing about all the ways He redeems helps me participate in the redemption.  It's not always easy to put the bad, the mean, and the ugly out there for everybody to see.  But the point of it is not that life is hard and things are broken (although this is often the case).  The point is that God redeems.  I've seen that in my life, and I get to say so by writing about it.

I write because writing connects me to other people.  I love putting something up on the blog, and having somebody say, "Thanks.  I needed that today."  I can't be everywhere that my friends are.  But the internet can.  And that's pretty cool.

So primarily, I write and publish here on the blog.  (Thanks for reading!)

I've been able to guest-post a couple of times this year at Covenant Eyes, and also at A Life Overseas.

Right now, I have a short article up at CausePub called Love in a Green Skirt.  I'd love for you to click over there, read, and even vote if you want.  (It's the story of one of my favorite God-moments, when He showed up for me on the beach, wearing a green skirt, some tattoos, and not much more.)

But the big thing I've been working on these last few months is--deep breath--a memoir of my life overseas, depression, and recovery.  Untitled and first-drafted, as of yesterday.  I'm already thinking of stories I left out and madly second-guessing everything I put in.  But it's a first draft.  And I'm really happy to have something that feels (somewhat) complete.

I'm putting this out here today mostly as an accountability thing.  Because ever since I told Andy that it was done and let him read it, I've been freaking out.  And I think that unless I say something about it here, it will get no farther than a couple of good friends and my kids' Christmas stockings.

So, that's me being brave for today.

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