As Valentine's Day lurches toward us once again, I'm resurrecting a favorite post from February 2012, that addresses performance anxiety and celebrates true love, in whatever form it presents itself.
photography: Michael Bruner
My husband claims to be a Valentine Grinch. I asked him what I should write about on the blog for Valentine's Day, and he said I should write about how much he hates Valentine's Day. So I started to do that.
But then when I sat down at the computer, there was a Valentine screen saver. And then the doorbell rang and there were roses. So I am calling a massive Grinch fail on you, honey. I just don't think you've got it in you.
This is not the first year that my pseudo-Grinch has expressed negative emotions toward Valentine's Day. Part of the problem is the massive pressure to do a certain thing in a certain way on a certain day.
This does not appeal at all to my love, whose personality was described by one test as "gun-slinger." Chocolates? Roses? Paltry. Pathetic. Give me worlds to conquer, problems to subdue. Then let's talk. Or better yet, shoot first and talk after.
So this past weekend, with the specter of Valentine's Day looming, his so-called Grinchiness began to express concern about the potential crisis ahead. That he would not perform up to cultural expectation. And if he did, that it wouldn't really be sincere and from his heart.
While he was expressing these concerns, he was in the process of renovating our bedroom. He painted the ceiling and the walls, because I wanted to try a new color. This is the third color I have wanted to try in that room, to say absolutely nothing of the kitchen, which is on its second shade of green, and the living room which has been blue, lighter blue, and now taupe.
He dismantled our old bed, because I said I was kind of tired of it, and sold it on Craig's List. He located vintage shutters and contemplated driving out west of Fort Worth to get them, because I said it would be fun to have vintage shutters for a head board. He put up new baseboard and has the crown molding on his list for next weekend.
He spent two full days fixing up the bedroom and being worried about Valentine's Day. I spent two full days saying, "Look what you're doing! You're making our house pretty! I love this! Best Valentine's Day present ever!"
I love roses and chocolate just like the next girl, but I wonder how often we discount the love we are given, just because it doesn't come wrapped up in pink ribbons?
Real love comes in all kind of packages. Often, at our house, with nail guns.
However Love comes to us this year, may we
receive it with open hands
celebrate it with grateful hearts
share it with a hurting world.