God works in this totally upside down and backwards way that I totally hate.
I mean, Jesus tried to tell me.
The Kingdom of God is like a seed that falls on all kinds of different soil, and all kinds of different stuff happens to it (Matthew 13:3-9). Some gets eaten by crows, some falls on rocky soil and never flourishes, some grows into a real crop.
The Kingdom of God is like good seed, planted in good soil, only the Enemy comes and throws weed seed in with the good seed, so that it all grows up together (Matthew 13:24-30).
The Kingdom of God is like a tiny little mustard seed (Matthew 13:31-32), like yeast kneaded throughout a loaf of bread (Matthew 13:33), like a treasure hidden in a field, like a fabulous pearl (Matthew 13:44-46), like a net that pulls fish, good and bad, up out of the sea together for sorting (Matthew 13:47-50).
The Kingdom of God is a thing that God flings around everywhere. He lets it fall where it will, and grow as it does.
And God waits for "In That Day," for "In the Fullness of Time" for the harvest.
I find that extremely painful, difficult, and annoying.
The Kingdom of God is a tiny little seed or like yeast that grows slowly.
How long, o Lord?
The Kingdom of God is a thing I have to search for, to dig for, to discover in hidden places. And the price for its ownership is everything.
I like the treasure. You can keep the digging. It gives me blisters.
As for the net that pulls up everything, good and bad?
Harry Potter has a sorting hat. How hard can a sorting net possibly be?
Much as I like to read the Gospels and say, "Wow, the disciples just didn't get it"--neither do I.
I don't want Jesus to talk to me about the first being last and power being perfected in weakness.
I like the sound of a victory march.
I am not so fond of the cold and broken hallelujahs.
Except that I have lived through a few of them now. And now I see that, despite my best efforts, God does redemption upside down and backwards.
That's pretty much all he's got to work with here.
And since he's promised never to leave us, never to forsake us; since he's promised that nothing can separate us from his love--he works with what he's got.
And his mercies are new. Every morning.
I believe when I cannot see.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)