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Kay Bruner

It's a love story
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Napali Coast, Kaua'i (photo: Andy Bruner)

we know the way

February 3, 2017

A few weeks ago, we went to see Disney's animated film, Moana.

It's the story of a Polynesian chief's daughter ("I'm NOT a princess!") who helps restore goodness to her people by repairing a broken relationship between demigod Maui and the goddess Te Fiti.

(Here's an interesting article from Smithsonian that critiques the movie's cultural and historical relevance if you want to up your geek quotient.)

For me, Moana was a jetlag-free visit to a part of the world that will always hold my heart, and to a people whose culture is full of wisdom: how to live within community, how to move with the rhythm of nature, how to give without resentment, how to be gentle and strong at once, how to welcome strangers and make them into friends.

There's so much to love about Moana, but my favorite moment is Opetaia Foa'i - We Know The Way.

As far as I'm concerned, you haven't really lived until you've heard Pacific Islanders sing.  This may be the closest you ever get, so turn it way, way, way up.

The first time I heard this song, I was struck by the line,

We know who we are.

That's the core of everything, isn't it?

We know who we are.

When we know who we are, our identity informs us.

It says YES to the choices that are congruent with our identity.  

It says NO to destinations that are incongruent.

So I ask myself:

Who am I?

And it seems that I am this:

A woman, created in the image of God.

What is that image?

Love.

The was the first Bible verse I learned, and the first one I taught to my children is this:

God is Love.  (I John 4:8)

So if I am to be God's image-bearer on earth, the same should be true of me.  

I am Love.  

(Okay, wow.  That's pretty freaky to write down.)

(Don't forget, Love has boundaries.  Love means Love, not abuse.)

Love, I believe, is my deepest, truest identity.

Love is also my destination, my island, my True Home.

I have come from God is Love, and in the end, I am going to God is Love.

So anytime I need to find home?

I know the way: Love.

When it comes to the next step I need to take?

This is it: Love.

The path of Love looks different for each of us, and that's totally fine.  

Just Love where you are.

It's not the big theological stuff that separates the sheep from the goats, according to Jesus.  

It's the cup of cold water, whatever your cold water is.  

It's visiting the sick and suffering, whoever those people are in your life.  

It's the true religion of caring for widows and orphans.  

It's the neighbor-love of the Good Samaritan, who stopped to help when all the important religious people walked on by.  

You see who's in front of you, and you Love.  

That's the whole ball game, all the law and all the prophets:  Love the Lord your God, Love your neighbor as yourself.  And your enemy, while you're at it.  Cuz there's plenty of Love for us all.  We don't need to hoard.

John Gottman is the world's foremost relationship expert.  The guru to end all gurus, marriage-wise.  He talks about how to build emotional trust in relationships in "sliding door" moments, those little instances where you can either turn toward your partner or turn away.

And he says that of course one tiny instance of ignoring your partner won't break a relationship.  Over time, though, if it becomes a pattern and a habit, emotional trust erodes.  Your partner no longer believes that you care--because, let's face it, you've demonstrated over and over that you really don't.

I think this is an insight that applies to so many situations in life: we have a choice to make; which way will we go?

And maybe that little, tiny choice to choose fear (Love's opposite) instead of Love doesn't matter so much that first time, or the second, or the hundredth.

But I suspect that eventually, if we choose fear over and over, we find ourselves in a far country, compromising our values, and wondering how in the world we got so far away.

When that's happened, when we find ourselves knee-deep in pig slop, there's good news.

There's a way home:  Love.  

And we can always haul ourselves out of the mud, turn for home, and be absolutely sure of our welcome.  No shame, no scolding, no price to pay.  

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Luke 15:20

So, friends.  It's a stressful time on Planet Earth.  

Voices are calling out to us, day and night.  

We are all living different lives with different choices to make.  And even if our choices seem small, they are significant, because each choice brings us closer to Love, or to fear.

When we're confused about what to do, let us remember: 

This is who we are: Love.

This is where we came from:  Love.

This is where we're going:  Love.

We make our choices in congruence with Love.

When it's time to find home, we know the way:

Love.

Tatou o tagata folau e vala’auina
E le atua o le sami tele e o mai
Ia ava’e le lu’itau e lelei
Tapenapena

Aue, aue
Nuku i mua
Te manulele e tataki e
Aue, aue
Te fenua, te mālie
Nae ko hakilia mo kaiga e

We read the wind and the sky when the sun is high
We sail the length of the seas on the ocean breeze
At night, we name every star
We know where we are
We know who we are, who we are

Aue, aue
We set a course to find
A brand new island everywhere we roam
Aue, aue
We keep our island in our mind
And when it's time to find home
We know the way

Aue, aue
We are explorers reading every sign
We tell the stories of our elders in a never-ending chain
Aue, aue
Te fenua, te mālie
Nā heko hakilia
We know the way

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