bits and pieces

As unfundamentalist parents, we never use our power over our children to control or coerce them. Instead, we place our power under our children, to lift them up. We place our power beside our children, to shelter and shade them.

Instead of limiting my children to walk in the paths I’ve followed, I hope that my power under and beside them enables them to go farther and higher than I can even imagine.

But those are just my hopes and dreams; my kids have the right to determine their own paths, and I’m committed to accepting and supporting them, no matter what, and doing my own emotional work along the way.

Kay Bruner

"Comforting," Zachariah Njobo, at the Dallas Arboretum Zimsculpt exhibition

"Comforting," Zachariah Njobo, at the Dallas Arboretum Zimsculpt exhibition

Yup, you read that right: I just quoted myself here, to tease a post on another blog!  

This week, I'm guest-posting for my friend Cindy Wang Brandt at her Patheos blog, Unfundamentalist Parenting.  I wrote about 5 Things Therapy Training Taught Me About Parenting.  

Hop on over there and see what therapy-things like unconditional positive regard, self-determination, and power differentials have to do with parenting.

I also write a monthly column at A Life Overseas.  What I write here at my blog are my own personal meanderings.  It's kind of a read-at-you-own-risk deal here. At A Life Overseas, I work hard to be logical and helpful and well-resourced, so every once in a while you might want to go over there, to check out my more professional alter ego.  

Last month my column was about shame, and I thought it was a pretty darn good one.  I invite you to click over there, read it, and see what you think!

Another ongoing project is animations for my YouTube channel, and I've created a couple of new ones lately.  

I get this question over and over: "My faith has shifted, but my family is still really conservative, and they pressure me to conform to their values.  What can I do about this?"  

I'd written and spoken this answer so many times that I finally decided to make an animation.  Easier and more fun for everybody.  (Too bad actually dealing with this isn't just as fun and easy...)

This next animation also came from answering a question on Facebook.  I had posted an article about how common behaviors like "forgetting" and "joking" can be abusive, and somebody asked, "But how can you tell?"  

There you go, friends, bits and pieces of my work from all over!  Enjoy!

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