This Saturday I'm turning 50.
And there is nothing quite like turning 50 to make one pause and evaluate one's life.
me with my favorite people, Bow Lake, Banff National Park, Canada
I've tended to pause and evaluate on my birthday anyway, and I have the journal entries to prove it.
I can look back at the year I turned 37, for example, and see how much I longed to DO SOMETHING MORE with my life. I was anticipating the day my kids would be grown and gone, and I had no idea what my life might look like...now.
Evaluating then motivated me toward more education and the career path (bumble) that led me to counseling and this writing-life now.
I had this question written in my journal: "If you died right now, what would people say about you? What would you WANT them to say? Why couldn't they say what you want them to say?"
Answering those questions made me realize that I wanted to give more out into the world, and so. The bumble began.
Going in this strange and wonderful direction has brought so many precious people into my life: colleagues and friends, clients, fellow writers, wanderers, and wonder-ers.
Audre Lorde's words have inspired me to speak while I can, to remember that time is short and precious: “I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I'll be sending messages on a Ouija board, cryptic complaints from the other side.”
As I stand here in front of 50, there's not really a big next thing I want to do.
I'd like to keep on doing what I do: loving my husband and my kids, hanging with friends, traveling and reveling in beauty, offering my work to the world in writing and counseling.
I do hope to stay around a little longer, of course.
But mostly I want to keep speaking and loving and being today, because today is what we've got, this gift called the present.
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
Till I got, got a lot more to give
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
Lord knows I love the life I live
This old road's been so good to me
I've been given much more than I ever dreamed
I won't ever stop playing these blues
That's what I think He put me here to do
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
Feel like I've got a lot more to give
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
Lord knows I love the life I live
So many good friends I've lost along the way
I know I'll meet 'em again on some uncloudy day
Until then there's more songs to be sung
We've come a long way but we're a long way from being done
I thank the Lord
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
But I feel like I got a lot more to give
I thank the Lord for letting me stay around a little longer
Lord knows I love the life I live
Thank You, Lord, I love the life I live
Read more: Buddy Guy - Stay Around A Little Longer Lyrics | MetroLyrics